


Exhilarating High, Even Greater Crash

by geekgirl



Category: U-KISS
Genre: Angst, Blindfolds, Canon, M/M, Smut, as of a few years ago that is, bottom kiseop, kiseop pretends to be kevin, seriously this is a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:06:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3848641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekgirl/pseuds/geekgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiseop has desperately wanted Jaeseop for so long he can no longer bear it. With a blindfold and all the courage he can manage, he takes control. </p><p> </p><p>Or the one in which Kiseop pretends to be Kevin so Jaeseop will sleep with him.<br/>(Transferred from Asianfanfics)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exhilarating High, Even Greater Crash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flowerboysandramyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerboysandramyun/gifts).



> Sorry for the poor formatting. transferring it was a pain.

Kiseop sat on the dorm couch twisting the tie around his hands, searching for the courage he knew he needed. This had happened on several other occasions but he had never found the strength to console the man when the tears he’d wipe away were shed for another man.  
Just over an hour ago Jaeseop made his usual move to snuggle up to Kevin after most of the other members had gone to bed. It was only Kiseop and Eli who were around to see the usual rejection. Kevin barely looked at Jaeseop and said nothing to him. He simply pulled away, locked eyes with Eli and said in his usual playful purr,  
“Ready for bed, Eli-ah?”  
Smirking and running playfully to their room, the two left Kiseop and Jaeseop alone. Kiseop knew Jaeseop was crushed. He didn’t know why the man didn’t just give up this game. It was the same thing day after day. Jaeseop longing for Kevin and giving into the desire though he knew he would be rejected. But what bothered Kiseop the most was that Jaeseop couldn’t see the eyes that were on him. If he would just take down his blinders and look to his side he would find what he needed. Kiseop.  
Kiseop followed the boy everywhere. Every moment that was not pointed toward Kevin, Kiesop was there, eagerly stealing all of his attention. But even when Jaesop gave in and went to Kevin, Kiesop couldn’t help his heart from clenching in anticipation thinking maybe this would be the time Kevin would give in. Then when he was rejected again Kiseop always felt the same rush of relief and guilt. He should want Jaeseop to be happy no matter what but he was selfish.  
Which is why when the girlish giggles came from the now occupied dorm room and the now white faced Jaeseop ran to his room and shut the door, Kiesop thought of this idea. He snuck into the dark room of Soohyun and stealthily took a tie.  
But that was as far as he got. He wanted Jaeseop, he knew that, that was not the problem. He just didn’t want to hurt Jaeseop and lose what little of the boy’s heart he already had.  
With a deep breath, Kiesop committed to his crazy idea and crossed the dorm and slowly opened the door to the room he shared with Jaeseop. He didn’t even bother turning on the lights. He heard very small sobs coming from Jaeseop’s bed. He rarely cried and this split Kiseop’s emotions again. He new that Jaeseop was vulnerable enough for this to work but the risk of losing him just increased.  
Kiseop sat on the bed and gently cupped Jaeseop’s face with his hand and wiped away the tears.  
“I’m sorry Kiseop. I’ll leave so you can sleep,” he said softly, trying to pull away from Kiseop.  
“No. Let me take care of you.”  
Jaeseop snorted in disbelief and tried to push him away again.  
“Don’t. I’m just a sick masochist or something.”  
“You’re not the only one,” Kiseop thought.  
“I…. I have an idea. Just trust me, okay?”  
“I…. You what?” Jaeseop asked confused.  
Kiseop pulled out the tie and blindfolded Jaeseop with it. The boy almost made to pull away while Kiseop was tying it but Kiseop stopped him.  
“Just trust me.” Then Kiseop leaned in and brushed his lips to Jaeseop’s ear and whispered,  
“Tonight, let me be Kevin.”  
“Kevin? You…. What?”  
“Call me Kevin.” And Kiseop captured the lips that had been teasing him for years in his own. If this was all he got tonight, Kiseop decided he would still be the happiest he’d ever been. The lips were better then he had ever imagined. They were soft and welcoming but strong. They were Jaeseop.  
He was so caught up in his own self gratification he hadn’t noticed Jaeseop wasn’t responding. But when he did Kiseop’s entire body sparked and throbbed as a smooth tongue slipped into his mouth. The kiss was hesitant and slow. Kiseop was hungry for more but the small part of his brain that was still acting rationally told him not to press more. He didn’t want to scare the boy away.  
But then fingers were being twisted into his hair and the kiss broke with a soft hum of pleasure from Jaeseop. The two’s faces hovered close together as they both soaked in the situation. Slowly, even more hesitant this time, Kieseop kissed the boy again. This time he was immediately met with eager lips and a hungry moan in return. The kiss was deeper and more passionate. It was working. Somehow in Jaeseop’s mind he was Kevin tonight. And Kiseop knew how much he wanted Kevin so this was his chance.  
Kiesop broke away from the kiss and to his pleasure the lips he had just abandoned attached themselves to his neck, kissing gently but desperately.  
“I… I want you, Jaeseop.”  
“Hmmm… Kevin,” murmured against his neck, now just brushing his lips there.  
“I always hoped that one day you would realize. One day you would realize all I could do for you Kevin.”  
Kiesop’s heart gave a small throb. Yes, he was indeed a masochist too.  
“I… I have always loved you Jaeseop.”  
Then Jaeseop was kissing him, deeper then even before, exploring the whole of Kiseop’s mouth, memorizing what he thought was Kevin’s mouth to memory.  
“I love you too, Kevin.”  
Another shockwave of pain shot through Kiseop. He needed to forget too. He needed to consume himself in Jaeseop and forget he was not the object of his desire.  
He slipped his hands under Jaeseop’s shirt and ran his hands across the perfect skin of his back. Jaeseop threw his head back and sighed at the touch. Kiesoep’s jaw dropped at the sight. The black tie covered his eyes but Kiesop could do his own imagining here at the beautiful eyes that were lost to the world. The perfect face twisted in bliss at such a small touch. Kiseop needed more.  
He scraped his blunt nails down Jaeseop’s back and watched as the man’s own jaw dropped at the sensation. Then the action was being reciprocated. Jaeseop’s hands playfully brushes just above the hem of his jeans before they started to explore up has toned stomach and chest.  
“Better then I ever imagined,” Jaeseop murmured.  
“Because its me, Jaeseop! You need me! I am better then you can even imagine with Kevin!” Kiseop screamed internally but he couldn’t bring himself to break the fantasy. If this was the only way he could be with him, he would do it.  
Each step was an exhilarating high and then an even greater crash. Kiseop would lose himself in the feeling of Jaeseop’s hands exploring him, mouth tasting him, taking in every inch, learning the body he could not see. But then Jaeseop would let out strings of affection for their band member and Kiseop needed more and more so he could forget himself.  
So Kiseop took the matters into his own hands. He was too far gone now. He needed more or he would break on the spot. He roughly pulled the shirt off the body he had been lazily touching while they kissed. Jaeseop’s body shuttered with desire. Kiseop pushed him down on the bed and began abusing his body with his mouth. He let out a loud moan as Kiseop darted out his tongue once. Kiseop almost told him to be quiet as to not wake the other members but something in him couldn’t help what he did next. He licked straight from collarbone to nipple, causing the most erotic and heart-stopping noise to come from the man beneath him.  
Kiseop relished in his power to emit such sounds from the man of his affection. He bit little red welts all over the perfect body beneath him, marking him as his own. Maybe it was Kevin Jaeseop was imagining but the marks were proof of what he could do.  
He moved to kissing Jaeseop’s neck, slow, smoothly, teasingly slid his hand down his side, making the man shiver and moan even more. But nothing in the night compared to the sounds Jaeseop emitted when he touched the hardness in his pants. He barely ghosted his fingertips over the fabric of the jeans and the body beneath him was writhing. It was beautiful and intoxicating and heart wrenching. Kiseop could see now how badly Jaeseop desired Kevin’s affection.  
Kiseop continued to wring, deep, needy noises from Jaeseop until he moaned,  
“Kevin… please.”  
Kiseop froze for a moment. How easy it was for him to just fall into his own fantasy of Jaeseop.  
Kieseop pulled his own shirt over his head and laid their bare chests together, whispering in Jaeseop’s ear,  
“You want me, baby, don’t you?”  
“I do. I do! Please!”  
Kiseop kissed behind Jaeseop’s ear, teasing him with light finger tips at the edge of his jeans as he lowered the zipper. The jeans were quickly thrown off followed by the boxers and Kiseop paused again, taking in the vision beneath him. How many times had he fantasized about this? Was this really his reality?  
“Kevin?” Jaeseop rasped in need.  
No. It was not his reality. The man was there naked in front of him but he was not his. But he couldn’t ignore the desperate man in front of him. He could never deny him even if it broke his heart.  
Kiseop began stroking the surprisingly hard member, silencing the immediate moans of pleasure from Jaeseop with a hungry kiss. Their tongues fought and explored as Kiseop pumped the boy below him closer and closer to his orgasm. Jaeseop rolled his hip and thrust up into Kiseop’s hand.  
But then something changed. Jaeseop stilled Kiseop’s movement and gently rolled Kiseop underneath him. He smiled sweetly at a boy who was in another room with another man. The tie dangled from his face and tickled at Kiseop’s face. He leaned in and kissed Kiseop sweetly. It was so sweet kiseop filed that one away for the books. This kiss may be for Kevin but Kevin would never know. He would never experience this lovable side of Jaeseop. Never appreciate him the way he should be appreciated.  
“Not so fast now. I know the feeling. That deep… need. But we have all night. Let me love you.”  
Kiseop’s eyes pricked but he smiled back. This is why he loved this man. He was so sweet. He could dish sass better then any diva but only sweetness ran through his veins. Sweetness for Kevin that is.  
“Okay. Make love to me.”  
Hungry lips attacked him then. “Say it again.”  
“Make love to me,” Kiseop moaned.  
Jaeseops hands make quick work of Kiseop’s pants but he stopped there to tease him through the straining fabric of his black underwear. He stroked lightly then added a teasing squeeze for good measure. Kiseop wailed louder then he knew possible but there was no rational piece left in his brain to tell him to keep quiet. He was just a blundering case of nerves now. Nerves that sparked and throbbed with each touch.  
Kiseop thrust up to meet Jaeseop’s hand, seeking any friction available. The then fabric still separated him from fully feeling Jaeseop though and it was maddening. He guided the mans hands to under the waistband and together they tugged the only shred of clothing left off.  
Jaeseop must be deep into the fantasy because he scanned over the naked body beneath him, smiling, taking in every imaginary inch. Kiseop tried to enter his own fantasy again, making the blindfold disappear and replacing the repeated “Kevin… so beautiful,” with his own name.  
They kissed again. Lazy and unhurried this time. They almost nearly forgot their entire situation until their now fully hard members touched. Both hissed and pulled apart.  
“Sorry to keep you like this. I’ve just been so caught up in every piece of you. Of this night.” Jaeseop apologized. Of course he apologized for neglecting the needy man of his dreams.  
Suddenly cool fingers were pressed to the outside of his entrance. Kiseop hissed again but with sheer anticipation.  
“Have you… have you ever done this before?” Jaeseop asked hesitantly.  
“No.” he answered simply. It wasn’t an exact lie. There was that one night he had spent with the man of Jaeseop’s fantasy but he hadn’t been on the receiving end that night.  
“I’ll go slow,” his voice filled with reassurance and love. Love for another man but Kiseop could pretend. He was the one he was actually being sweet to anyways.  
Jaeseop pulled his fingers away from Kiseop’s heat and placed them to his mouth.  
“I would get lube but the…” clearly he meant the blindfold was stopping him from moving away from the bed. With this realization Kiseop saw the fantasy start to crumble. Jaeseop’s happy demeanor faltered, smile falling, face blushing and fingers fell from his face.  
The hurt look was more then Kiseop could take. Somehow this crazy idea was supposed to solve both of their unrequited love problems but her Kiseop was, about to comfort the man he loved, who was even currently naked and aroused, over Kevin again. But the sight of the man so close to ravishing him made him do something even crazier.  
“Come to Kevin, Jaeseop-ah!” and he pulled the forgotten fingers into his mouth, swirling his skilled tongue over and around the fingers, coating them in the slick saliva. It did the trick. Jaeseop was instantly back into fantasy mode, calling out for mercy and more simulation simultaneously. But Kiseop was beyond repair. He had called out as Kevin and received Jaeseop as such. It was hurt more then anything had so far. So from that moment on Kiseop had to stop being so selfish and just play the best Kevin he could, for Jaeseop.  
“You’re ready, baby,” he said, pulling the fingers from his mouth, leaving them slick and ready.  
Jaeseop circled the tight muscles at his entrance with his other hand before he entered a slick digit into the tight heat. It was different and slightly invasive but Kiseop welcomed every piece of him. He writhed in pleasure as the finger played and explore him. Then another finger found its way in. This one was more uncomfortable but still welcomed. Jaeseop kissed Kiseop to distract him and he whined with all the Jaeseop stimulation. He was forever to kind. Worrying about the other man’s comfort and not his own pleasure, taking his time to ensure Kiseop was fully stretched and pain free before proceeding to the next step.  
Finally a third digit was added and the pain hit. Kiseop gritted his teeth and felt his body clench. He didn’t want Jaeseop to stop. Never wanted hi to stop. But despite the blindfold he new there was pain. He peppered Kiseop’s sweaty face with kisses and rubbed a soothing hand across his stomach. But then Jaeseop gave his fingers a small thrust and crooked them just so, causing a blinding white hot pleasure to spread through out Kiseop as he found his sweet spot. He called out and let out a string of curses.  
“That’s right. You like me inside you like that don’t you Kevin?”  
“Yes. Yes. More,” Kieseop panted, not bothering to apy is throbbing heart any attention at this point. He was in way to far to get mad for getting hurt like this.  
The fingers were pulled from him and he whined from the loss.  
“Patience,” Jaeseop laughed as he did his best to line himself up blindly.  
Slowly and very gently Jaeseop buried himself inside Kieseop, constantly kissing and soothing Kiseop as he did so.  
At last, after Kiseop demand so, they began to move. Jaeseop would artfully flick and twist his wrist along Kiseop’s aching cock while he matched it with each thrust. They kissed as they did so. Kiseop couldn’t help but marvel at his skills. He was curious where he had learned this and who had had practiced these techniques on but he was not in the mood for another stab to the heart. Each call of “Ah Kevin!” into their dark room was already more then he could handle.  
Jaeseop came first, hot and hard inside of Kiseop. As he fell he praised his love. The one he loved but would never have. When he returned to earth he pulled out of Kiseop he used a whole new set of skills that involved his tongue and perfect suction to finish off Kiseop. The height of his orgasm was a great but brief distraction from his own self destruction. He reveled in his ability to call out the name of the one he loved at least as he fell apart though.  
The two lay trembling in their post orgasmic glory. Jaeseop tenderly wrapped his arms over Kiseop and whispered, “I love you, Kevin,” as he drifted to sleep. Then Kiseop couldn’t stop the tears. He let them silently slip out is eyes and down he face. He tried to wipe them before they hit the man’s chest beneath him. He missed seeral though and they blended in with the now drying sweat. A wracked sob broke through Kiseop’s mental barrier and he knew he had to get out of there. He pulled himself away from Jaeseop but turned to look one last time on the man before fleeing. He was beautiful and perfect in his eyes.  
Kieseop gently pulled the tie from the man eyes and fled the room, semi-dressed. He stood over the kitchen sink, water dripping from his faces when he heard someone enter the kitchen.  
“I was hoping it was you out here,” the girlish voice called behind him.  
“Sorry to wake you Kevin,” he said, not turning.  
“Oh I haven’t slept yet. And neither have you. I heard you in there. Finally! I knew you would crack him one day. You’re too good looking to resist,” Kevin said, running a hand down Kieseop’s bare back. He shivered at the touch. To have Kevin touch him after what just happened seemed to be another slap in the face.  
“Oh sorry. Nerves still raw I see. What’s that?” he asked, noticing the tie in Kiseop’s hand at his side.  
“Is that Soohyun’s tie?? You kinky bastard!” Kevin giggled.  
“You have no idea,” Kiseop said, hating this conversation more and more.  
“I would if you just let me…” he said, sliding the tie away from him.  
“Whatever. Take it.” Anything to get him out of the room.  
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell Soohyun it was me who took it as thanks,” he said, already running to his room, more then likely to fulfill Eli’s wildest dreams.  
Kieseop collapsed on the couch when he heard the door shut to the room. He decide to sleep their on the couch, clothed enough in his floppy pajama bottoms, back to his selfish self. He couldn’t bring himself to go back into that room and see Jaeseop again. Besides this would fit the story that he had never gone into the room after Jaeseop fled there in tears earlier in the night. Whatever Jaeseop will claim happened he would just call some sort of sick dream. As he drifted to sleep that was all he could hope for. That maybe this was just a messed up dream. But every touch was burned into Kiseop’s memory forever and they haunted him as he finally slipped into unconsciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that one scene in JunJo (you know which one) and written a very long time ago. This was transferred from my Asianfanfics account and despite the comments I received over there, there will not be a sequel. Sorry to break your poor shipper hearts! 
> 
> This was also some of the first smut I wrote so go big or go home, eh? 
> 
> Feedback welcomed! ^.^


End file.
